In today's episode of "what's Stacey thinking about?", I bring to you more observations about uncomfortable topics.
There are a lot of throwaway words out there these days. What I mean by that is while there is a push for practicing kindness and understanding (despite the equal pull of negativity and hate-speech from the small-minded), some words are just...empty. That's probably an unintended consequence of people's attempt to keep their language only positive and uplifting - the "fake it 'til you make it" mentality. I mean, at least the words being said ARE kind but if there isn't anything genuine behind them, does it really count?
Peeps be tossin' compliments around like candy at a parade - randomly, in spurts, but the person throwing the candy doesn't really see or focus on the recipient. They toss and move on, because the parade isn't over yet.
I...really struggle with this. As someone who compliments and praises when it's genuinely deserved (not expected, not forced, no bullshit), I can tell the difference between a real, kind remark and one that's a knee-jerk reaction or an attempt to placate me. And it drives me absolutely bonkers to know the difference yet say nothing but "thank you" to a phony compliment.
Another thing I see often that drives me nuts are the people who constantly feel they need to "one-up" someone else in a conversation. Someone's bad day is purely relative to that person based on their life experiences. It isn't a contest to see who has it worse.
Someone admitting that they are tired or run down from the stress of life isn't an invitation to compare miseries. It's one thing to reach a hand out and be understanding - showing the person that they aren't alone - it's another to effectively invalidate that person's experience because they don't know what "real" suffering is, real tiredness is, what a really bad life actually is. Everyone and anyone is entitled to really feel their day didn't go as planned if they started it off by spilling coffee on themselves or stepping in dog shit. Maybe that's all they can take that day. Whatever. Let them feel it and get over it.
If you are a person that does these things, stop it. Stop it right now. It's super frustrating and someone shouldn't have to bring it to your attention directly. It's awkward, it's embarrassing (for you), and it's unnecessarily confrontational...but it's never too late to be a whole new person. I was told years ago that it's never too late to reinvent yourself. It took me years to be brave enough to do it but damn, was it ever worth it.
