As of October 16th, I'm officially divorced. The Judgment was signed and filed in the County Clerk's Office, making it a legit thing.
I was waiting for this day. Basically, this was me all year:
Not because my marriage was horrible, terrible, the worst thing ever in this world ~ there are people who's lives are legit on the line when they are exiting a relationship. It was simply because I think the faster things are finalized, the faster people can move on and find their own road to take. I've always been someone who likes procedure and closure.
I wondered though how I'd feel actually seeing the paperwork in front of me. The truth is when I saw the papers, I felt two things: (1) nothing at all, which lead me to feeling a little surprised. It was as if the names on the papers were ones I did not recognize; it represented a life that was not mine or meant to be mine. (2) A flash of anger. I had a brief moment of where I remembered some hurtful things that had been said to me. It was like a ghost walked through and then left. I mean, seriously? Why carry around the negative parts of our former marriage? I'd rather remember the fun things ~ I'd rather remember the things I've learned.
This quote I found struck me because the last part applies to me. This year brought a lot of change and turmoil; I learned the hard way who my true friends are and who truly cares for me. I experienced extreme loss (I still miss FeeBee every single day). I changed careers back to what it was, pre-ilovekickboxing, and found great satisfaction and peace with it and how it gave, and still gives, me the ability to focus more on me and my life. I started a business that I find fulfilling and challenging. I found love for myself and true love in and for an amazing woman who is my absolute best friend. Today marks 7 months we have been together as a couple.
2017 is the year I stumbled a lot but I fell into my stride and the path I believe that I am meant to take.
SO SAPPY RIGHT?! It is what it is. Life isn't perfect but I still feel very, very blessed.
