Standing still.
Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath
and just
realizing that while I freeze
the world moves around me.
I love standing still amidst chaos and just feeling the motion around me.
This weekend I traveled with a friend to Boston. I don't ever want to live in a city but who knows, maybe someday I might for a time. I like the busy-ness of it; the realization of complete anonymity. No one knows me and no one likely will remember my face. The fact that there are tourists in and out of Boston at any given time it'd be fate if you ran into these same people again someday in another place, in another time.
I like traveling and this weekend away rekindled a fire in me. I used to love to hop on the train and just go. Get in the car and go. Pack a bag, pack FeeBee, and go. And that was something sort of lost over the past 5 or so years. I grew roots under my feet and they ran deep. Now I am feeling untethered and I want to just go. "Go", not in the sense of run away - but go and come back. Go and bring back a little something else to puzzle-piece into my life. Go.
To go with a limited agenda - just pick where and one big thing to do and let the rest fall into place.
To go with a backpack and some snacks and water.
To go and take pictures of whatever strikes my fancy.
To go and simply imagine not coming back - to dream about starting over with nothing but the contents of a knapsack. To start from the bottom and see what can be created.
I like to dream like this and it has made people uncomfortable before. Dreaming doesn't mean I'm unhappy with my life; I just have a big imagination that's constantly fueled by whatever I am feeding it that day. When I feed it with the beauty of traveling to new or favorite places, I want to continue to go, leave. When I feed it with creating something new, I want to stay home for days on end and burn myself out with all the ideas. When I'm involved in a good book, I want to throw all electronics outside so I can simply exist in the text.
I've always enjoyed getting a little bit lost.
