I don't keep it a secret that I struggle with anxiety and depression; I have off and on since I was a teenager. Regular, intense exercise and a healthful diet are crucial for me to maintain my cool.
But I soooo feel it if I slack on the exercising part and I really have been, and since I have been ill, I haven't eaten as much as I normally would be. With both of those things tossed by the wayside for the past 4 days...
Yeah. So, this is the face of someone who's been spinning herself right out until...actually today. I got some extra sleep, which is seriously the best medicine for a flu, and while I'm still not physically feeling 100%, I was able to realize what I was doing to myself. I was letting the anxiety control me. I was letting it create self-doubt in myself as a friend, employee, human being.
But seriously. Enough is enough. Letting myself continue to be a ball of anxiety just makes me sicker longer and it spreads into things it doesn't need to. It makes small matters seem huge; it makes me feel out of control, cranky, unfocused and suspicious. Those are not good feelings. It makes me doubt the things people say to me and here's the thing - I can't control others words and actions toward me. All I can control is me. Letting my anxiety take over my day is letting my day run me and I'm pretty sure I'm in charge of my day.
I don't know about you, but I'd rather have a clear mind. I'd rather be level-headed and able to make smart decisions and use good judgment. I can't speak for others but my anxiety can really cloud all of that. So I decided this morning that I really need to cut this sh*t out and give myself some air. I have to say, I feel much better. I wasn't able to always see when I was falling into this cycle and I'm actually kinda proud I was able to really see it today and say: Enough is enough. You aren't being kind to yourself.
