It's a conscious effort for me to try and put my immediately reactions to life in the back seat and react the way I want to react to things. To say to myself: Take a deep breath, this person/situation is different. View it with fresh eyes. Gather all the information before making a move...
Because it's hard not to assume that people aren't inherently jerks. But the last thing I'd want to do with the people around me - friends, family, co-workers, strangers on the street - is drive them away because I am relying on my old thoughts and my old insecurities. Why would I want my life now to be that affected by the bad parts of life I've experienced? Why wouldn't I want to focus on the good parts?
As ridiculous as it may sound - at this stage in my life, I'd rather take chances on people. I'd rather see the good in them. I'd rather see their potential. I'd rather give people the benefit of the doubt. I'd rather not get myself all worked up over situations that may not even happen.
Recently in a sermon at my church, Pastor Roscoe Lilly talked about how we can sometimes find ourselves sitting and brewing about the worst case scenario...and how often it actually happens (usually never). I found this so reassuring because I've caught myself stewing and all that does is rob me of the joy of the moment. Not only that, if I voiced all my insecure thoughts in the moment, I'd be sure to drive people away from me. I couldn't be vicious to people and then expect them to want to be around me. That's not how life works. If I wouldn't tolerate someone behaving like that to me, I'm not going to do that to others.
I'm not really sure how to tie up this blog neatly, so I'm just going to end it here and hope it resonates with at least one person. I'm off now to go do some art in Saratoga with a new friend from church and a co-worker! When life feels a bit messy, grab a paintbrush and make art out of it.
